“RAAAAAARRRRRR!” It is a powerful declaration of I AM HERE! HEAR ME ROAR!
As I meditated (read that as sleep and dream, my friends) through New Year’s Eve last night, I travelled through the astral plane with a question rambling through my mind, “What is my focus for 2019?”
I had gone to bed early, entering The Nothing purposely in quietude and wonder, feeling grateful that The Nothing and I had had a amicable relationship this year. I moved with The Nothing, instead of being consumed by it. After learning in 2017 that The Nothing is the realm where I regroup and rejuvenate, it created a gentleness within me in how I related with The Nothing this year. And as part of my “closing of the year” ritual last night, I actually chose to enter The Nothing to seek the solitude that is there and also because I had a very strong awareness that in The Nothing, I have found some of the most profound healing and awareness. It is my power space. Ironically, the one place that I feared the most and where I struggled and where I got “lost” has become the place that I now most love. Interesting how life works like that.
So, into The Nothing I went last night, thinking I knew what I was going to be focusing on for 2019. I had done my Wordy Wordsmith processes, I had created the art, and I had gathered the images that represented what I wanted to experience. However, I wasn’t lit up by the word I had chosen and I know myself well enough to know that, if I am not fully lit up by something, I will not do it. I will find all sorts of reasons not to. I will make it painful for myself. I will drag my feet. I will whine and groan and moan and even pitch myself to the floor and kick and scream. It ain’t pretty.
As I slept – for twelve hours, by the way! – I had an awareness of walking through The Nothing and gathering information. I felt myself connect with a version of me that had already lived through the year ahead and she had wisdom to impart. I spoke with her, I watched her, I listened to her, I walked with her. There was a word that was echoing in my being, but I was still having a hard time grasping it, even in that space.
When I awoke this morning, I let alone the “Word of the Year” project, even though I had planned on launching it first thing this morning. It wasn’t ready. *I* wasn’t ready.
I went about my morning ritual and then entered into a conference call with my business coach. He walked us through some visualizations and as I trusted into the space he holds, a space where I am so comfortable now, there began to be a light glowing in front of me. I gazed at it and held space for it to unfold, curious as to what it was about. It lit up the space before me with a light that was golden, sparkling, brilliant.
And in a breath, I saw it: DIVINE.
Curious about that, I waited and realized there was more unfolding. Oh surprise! Of course, I wasn’t going to just do it in one word. Of course, I was going to focus deeper. Of course! After last year’s experience of Health as a Verb, why would I choose to ever do anything on a superficial level again?
For 2019, I commit to Recognizing, Allowing, Actualizing, and Receiving the Divine in every area of my life! I am going to experience the Divine RAAR!
Bring. It. On. Baby!
Great piece on discovering more about self. The word divine describes your abilities to a tea. For you are for the little guy and not self. Perhaps you are not as far off the path as your father thought you were. There is nothing empty about you.
LOVE YA
Dad
Thank you, Daddy. That means a lot to me that you see me as such.