One thing you should know about me is that, when I am sick – like I am right now – I get rather snarky and cynical. Recently, I learned I could seriously blame that on the antibiotics because it kills off my good flora that keeps me in balance and then candida goes wild and that also creates all sorts of not-fun effects, as well. So… *sigh*… I’m snarky right now.
In the middle of being snarky-sick, I changed the channel on my radio this morning and scanned through my presets. Two of my six presets on my first band are now playing Christmas music 24/7. I groaned because both of them had sugary-sweet-sappy-songs that have been overplayed and worn out years ago. My daughter snickered and said, “Someone needs to write new Christmas music.”
A while later, as I pulled into a parking lot, I could hear the “Christmas station” pouring forth from someone else’s car. It was playing another worn out song and my head exploded. I immediately tweeted/facebooked the following post and this is the challenge that came…
Now, as I mentioned, I’m snarky-sick and a challenge has been issued. I’m laughing out loud because this is the very outlet I needed and let me tell you what! Within 30 minutes of this challenge, I had written the following lyrics. Although horribly awkward, probably inappropriately formatted and highly amateur, this process made me laugh until my sides hurt more than it does when I hack up my lungs. So, I think this was excellent therapy.
The Truth Behind Christmas
There is a little story
The foundation for this season
A story of mythical magic and lore
That can truly defy all reason
Long, long ago and very far away
As all good stories start
Something amazing was gonna happen
Take the story to heart…
There lived a beautiful young girl,
All innocent and pure
Visited by ghostly visions
With tales of pain to endure
She would conceive a child
Without having sex
But, even worse, single she’d still be
She’d not have a husband,
She’d be seen as a whore
And somehow, she’d need to be happy
So then her belly grew big with a baby
And her boyfriend was so dismayed
Cuz he’d seen no action
There’d been no roll in the hay
He called her names and turned away
Leaving her alone and fat
So the ghost paid a visit to her young lad
To kick his butt back to her flat
He told the boy the baby’d be famous
And he told the boy that he would be too
“Pull yourself up by the bootstraps
Or you’ll find yourself in deep pooh!”
Yeah… yeah… yeah…
There is a little story
The foundation for this season
A story of mythical magic and lore
That can truly defy all reason
Long, long ago and very far away
As all good stories start
Something amazing was gonna happen
Take the story to heart…
The boy went back and the girl smiled
And life went on happily
Until the king said kill all the babies
And they left for Galilee
On and on they trudged
Over desert, rock and hill
A camel, the boy and she
Hoping they’d find a place to land
To listen to the ghost’s advice
And bring forth a new baby
No one would let them in
No one cared she was ready to pop
No one let them lie down
Until they found a barn in which to stop
So the baby boy was born
Amongst the horses and cows
To a girl and a boy without sex
And nobody knows the whys or hows
Then, supposedly, more magic happened
When angels loudly sang
And sheperds and kings came from afar
And heavenly bells rang
Yeah… yeah… yeah…
There is a little story
The foundation for this season
A story of mythical magic and lore
That can truly defy all reason
Long, long ago and very far away
As all good stories start
Something amazing was gonna happen
Take the story to heart…
Cuz long, long ago and very far away
No sex was had and a baby was made
This made him king of prophecies
And the path for a short life was laid
So throw in a virgin
A ghost and a boy
Some angels, a camel and kings,
Shepherds, barns, cows and horses
And so many other things
That alone would be mundane
That wouldn’t make any sense
Then have it all tied up with a bow
By the word of God when the boy is born
And suddenly you have the makings of
A multi-million dollar holiday
Cuz there is a little story
The foundation for this season
A story of mythical magic and lore
That can truly defy all reason
Long, long ago and very far away
As all good stories start
Something amazing was gonna happen
Take the story to heart…
Yes the foundation for this season
Is a little story that defies reason
A little story that defies reason
A boy, a girl, a ghost and a baby
A story that defies reason
A story that defies reason
© Angie K. Millgate 11/9/11
