For me, sarcasm and generalization do not support healthy communication and that is what I am witnessing in the political battle that has been going for a long time and began in earnest six days ago. When we expend our energy pointing fingers, blaming, and twisting facts, no one benefits and we make no progress.
One of the most frustrating things for me is, in the past, I surrounded myself with masterfully argumentative people who often employed biting sarcasm in the moment to effectively wound me, end the debate, and have me roll over and play dead. I’ve been surrounded by people that said some of the most horribly hateful things to one another, all while wearing a smile and using terms of endearment, or ending it with, “Just kidding! Sheesh! You’re taking things too seriously! Laugh a little!” And, in today’s modern age of texting, that now shows up as “JK LOLZ.”
There were many times that I said to one of my best friends, “I wish I had the ability to verbally fight back in the moment with such spark like you do.” Although I witnessed deployment against others all too frequently, this friend rarely used this weapon against me. When it happened, though – when that friend used sarcasm, generalization, and blame without accountability against me – I ended our relationship. Abruptly. For me, that form of argument is not healthy, nor is it generative. It is one-sided, spiteful, and hurtful.
If we humans come out swinging against the “enemy” – be that another gender, a religion, a political party, a race, a class, a nation – and lumping everyone that fits in that category as “the enemy,” then we are creating more division, we are creating more strife, and we are creating more weakness. In every war-related movie I’ve ever watched, I’ve heard, “The only way we get through this is together.” Now, with where we stand, we have to STOP taking our frustrations and fears out on other people who happen to look, sound, smell, walk, reproduce, or believe like “the enemy.” By generalizing MEN as the enemies of WOMEN, women everywhere are cutting off access to some of our greatest supporters.
Just stop that!
MEN are NOT the enemy. Archaic beliefs and the destructive constructs of domination, power, and control must come down, but it ISN’T JUST MEN that are upholding these ways.
WOMEN! JUST! STOP! IT!
If you are hollering about how “ALL MEN” have done this and that, YOU are feeding the very energy you are fighting against. I just don’t have the ability to understand HOW IN THE HELL you cannot see how destructive that is. PLEASE WAKE UP!
I AM a debator. I am just realizing this about myself. (As yesterday’s “see/hear/speak nothing” post explained) I am also realizing that I am at my best with this when I feel I have time to research and back up with solid data what I am going to be arguing. I also know that, in the past, I spouted off with a gigantic lack of preparation OR accountability.
No more.
I commit to breathing, researching, and responding respectfully.
In this time in history, I am fully aware – with every molecule of my physicality and every particle of my soul – the ONLY way we’re getting through this IS together.
