I’m sitting here at the computer, staring at the keys and feeling just as blank as the computer monitor before me. I feel as though there “should be” something to write, like it’s lurking there in the dark recesses of my mind just beyond where I can reach. I feel as though there is brilliance waiting to shine forth, but… buuuuuuuut… I cannot tap into it.
Writer’s block.
I get it very rarely, but when I do it’s an uncomfortable sensation. I am passionate about writing. It comes to me in the quiet moments, in the loud moments, in the chaotic moments, in the dark moments. My writing is always there. So when I cannot access it, I feel scared. And you get to read posts like this… posts about not being able to write.
Actually, this post here? It’s a process. I am facing into my fear about writing. My fear that my writing sucks. My fear that writing is a waste of my time. My fear about the fact that I am not being paid to sit here and write this drivel. My fear my fear my fear my fear
The hope in this post is that, after I publish it, the block will be released and I will be bright and witty again. It always hasn’t happened that way in the past, but I can still hope for it to do so today.
I stayed in my pajamas all day yesterday. All day. It felt good. I took a nap in the afternoon. A nap, mind you! That felt good too. I checked in with myself as I burrowed under the blankets to snooze off into nappy land. Am I hiding from something? Is this what this nap is about? Nah. I wasn’t hiding. I was tired. Tired from staying up until all hours of the night creating magical art. Stuff that is really blowing my socks off and stuff that is capturing my imagination, my focus and running with me. Stuff that is really, really, really good stuff! And I am getting very little sleep because of it.
Perhaps that lack of sleep could be why there is a lack of words. (Ha! A lack of words? Only a writer could fill an entire page with words about having no words!!! LOL)
Okay. Life IS good. I am alive. I am creating. I am breathing. I am collaborating.
I remember now!
