For a long time, I chose to not like my family and I chose to stay away, and I got stuck in thinking things were as I was seeing them. Forgetting that it is within my power to change how I see things. All I could see was things like… They’re rude. They’re mean. They’re judgmental.
Truth is, not all of my family is wrong, mean, and judgmental. In fact, none of them are all of those things all of the time. But, I had made it a blanket fact for the whole lot.
Me choosing to stay away from them only punished me. I was missing out on the fun. I was missing the laughter I could experience with those cousins and relatives with whom I have a fantastic time. Because I had had a few rough experiences with a few of them – which, may I point out, those same “mean” people have not been mean to me for years! – I had removed myself from them.
While I was away from them, being all self-righteous and better than them because I wasn’t rude, mean, or judgmental (please note here, I had separated myself from them; that is judgment and I was thinking harshly about them, which is mean and rude…) I did some interpersonal work and got really clear that my experience is about me, no one else. I came to understand that it doesn’t matter how other people treat me; it is not what dictates who I BE on this planet.
So, I got over myself and I showed up. Wholeheartedly. And I got to do this. With a smile and a squeal!
Surprisingly, every connection I had with every family member there was fulfilling and joyful.
And that was my doing.
