I’ve spent a lot of my life looking backwards as I go forward… wondering what I’m missing, what I’ve missed, what I didn’t do correctly, what I miserably failed at, what I nailed. I’ve spent a lot of time examining where I am and where I’ve been to ascertain what could be improved upon and what I “should have done” differently. Many of my present moments have been spent believing I was having the “wrong” experience… ya know, thinking things like, “well, this ain’t right!” or “their life looks better!” or “how come your life is so much easier than mine?!” Usually, these thought processes have created frustration and have thwarted me at every turn. Additionally, the backward focus has resulted in injuries and accidents, literally.
So, this morning, as I get ready to merge back into the “real” world after begin sequestered for almost two weeks while I was recuperating, I find myself wondering what is out there in front of me. I’m intensely aware of the feeling of my body in the present and what it felt like to feel those little, wispy hairs tickle my nose as they fell against me, released by the sharp blades of the scissors as I trimmed my bangs away from my eyes and how those Holiday Grapes popped in my mouth as I ate them this morning and the feel of the icy cold water going down my throat. I’m aware of what is going on now and I’m also curious about what is waiting out there, what things are different and what has stayed the same.
I’ve been practicing for a few years now about being with what is and begin aware of the present moment, while looking forward to step safely into the future. Forward, I go. And… I’m grateful the sun is shining upon my path.
