How Do You Know If It’s Working?

Whenever I am working with clients, teaching classes, or speaking to groups, the first place we start – after the “breathing” instruction – is setting a clear intention. When anything is done from a foundation of clarity, the odds of success are so much higher than if you were to go about it willy-nilly.

I mean, think about it… if you were to bake a cake from scratch (I know, that is so unheard of these days, but let’s pretend) and it was a cake you had never baked before so you had no experience in the process. If you were to simply look at a picture of the cake you wanted to bake, without ever tasting it, there would really be no way for you to know what was in it. And, if you were not really clear about the outcome you wanted to have and were not willing to follow the recipe exactly as it was written, you would stand a very good chance of having it fail miserably.

However, if you had tasted the cake somewhere so you had a really good sense of its flavors and textures, you had researched and found the recipe, and you were willing to do whatever it took to replicate the original cake, you would stand a really good chance of success.

Life is like baking a cake. Anywhere that you want to go, it is important that you know where you are to start with and where you’d like to head. Granted, there are times where “just driving without a destination” is what is needed. But that actually is the destination; you’re simply going to follow your impulses and that is the plan.

The more clarity you have about where you are heading, the simpler it is to plan and to map out a route. And, when that route is for your life, it is important that you are clear about what you want to experience.

Several years ago, without any prior understanding of what I was really doing, (which was probably a blessing in itself) I made a commitment:

I commit to being fully alive
and living in my love.

On the heels of that commitment, I created an addendum by which I have been living for nearly five years now:

I commit to being fully alive
and living in my love
and to clearing anything
that may be blocking me from doing so.

That addendum has wrought changes that I could have never dreamed would come to me. And, at times, I still look at back and shake my head with wonder.

One of the the things that has happened in the process is I have gotten really clear about what kind of relationships I’m interested in – family, friends, lovers, business, clients. All of my relationships have gone through overhauls and many have disappeared all together. It has changed the way I do business. It has changed the way I interact with the public, with my clients, with my family. It has changed the foundation upon which I choose into things – all things, including family things. It has clarified everything I’m involved in so that it vibrates with my commitment – a sign that it’s working.

During this time, my Facebook friends list was pared way down. In fact, I had two profiles going at one time – one for personal, family only stuff and one for business. I eventually got tired of two and weaned everyone off the personal one until all that is left are two friends which have passed on. They are both very dear to me and their memorialized pages disallow any new friend connections, so I will hold onto that profile for those two friends so I can visit every now and then when I’m thinking of them.

As for the other profile, I’ve been very selective who I join forces with. If there are a lot of political, racial, gender, religious, or sexual preference slurs or propaganda on their page, I say “nope!” If they complain continually about their partner or about the president or about the latest twist in the same-sex-marriage or abortion debates, then I say “hell no.” The result is, when I go on my newsfeed, it is filled with uplifting, positive things and I delight in the ritual of scrolling through the posts – a sign that it’s working.

One of my favorite signs that it’s working though, is the fact that I now have loved ones frequently posting to my Facebook wall things that “remind them of me,” like the image for today’s post. That quote was posted to my wall recently and, within an hour, another loved one posted the video below to my wall. My commitment to living in my love has resulted in delicious, open relationships and people feel comfortable connecting with me. They know me. It is definitely working!