| In My Wildest Dreams |
 “I have always wanted to…” I overheard him say.
He went on to declare the dreams of his heart in a voice heavy-laden with his boyhood hopes. Even though I couldn’t see his face, I could hear the smile and the yearning to be bolstered in that moment. I heard the longing for support. “You can’t even find the time to do this. How are you going to pull off that?” The knife hidden in the gentleness of her voice sliced through my heart. I imagined his face falling, his heart breaking and his dreams dying. I imagined the walls going up and the doors locking as I heard his footsteps walking away from the puddle he left at her feet. I ached with the sadness I felt in that moment. All the times where my own dreams had been dashed by someone who I had counted on to support me came rushing at me with a fierce need to be acknowledged. I heard all the times I had opened up to another, seeking their approval and, instead, found a battering ram that slammed through the center of my soul.
I wanted to go backwards and tell them I believed in them. I wanted them to know that their dreams, their hopes, their desires were important to me. I wanted them to know that, no matter how ridiculously impossible it seemed to me, I knew they could do it. Because it was their dream, I wanted it for them too. Going backwards is not a possibility, however. Instead, I sat there, being aware of all the times I had let another down and I felt that pain for them. I remembered all the times I had been let down by another and felt that pain for me.
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Then, even sadder still, I heard the times when another came to me with their idea and I could not see or hear it with them. Blaring at me from the past were the times when, instead of offering support, I opted to point out the obvious traits which were lacking – their lack of money, time, energy or education. I ached to know that I had dashed the dreams of those who I held dear and wanted to make it right.
And then I made a commitment to myself in behalf of those who stand in front of me: With all of my awareness and in going forward from here, I commit to hearing your dreams and smiling with you as you rejoice in reaching toward them. I commit to showing up for you, honoring your desires and supporting you in whatever way you need. Your joy brings me joy. Thank you for sharing your innermost imaginings with me.
