For many years, I have lived a very public private life. By writing my book, Above the Clouds, and then having it published for the world to read, brought my very personal, inner experiences out into the open for anyone’s eyes. My practice of writing candidly and transparently about intensely personal topics here on my blog and in my books has kept me – excuse the pun – in a state of being an open book.
And that worked for me.
Part of my healing process has been to bring to light that which I have felt shame about. I have found that, by forgiving myself and others through the process of writing, I have come to have the most profound healing. Making my private thoughts, emotions and words go public has caused me to come into alignment and be congruent with my intentions. It has also turned that which has been “secret” into spaces of sacred beingness for me.
At times, this process has been incredibly painful. In fact, because I had such a strong commitment to learn in the most difficult ways – and earn my right to be here on this planet – the majority of my growth has come at a high cost. I’ve seen things in myself that I had no idea were even there, or that I was capable of thinking or operating that way. I’ve witnessed in others things that terrified me and awed me and also inspired me.
Throughout all this, my professional and personal life have been closely intertwined. *I* AM what I do – what I do is who I am. At the most primordial level and devoid of ego, I literally AM what I do. Professional and private Angie were entangled and enmeshed because *I* AM my work. *I* am the Artist, the Author and the Healer. Everything I “do” to generate income is creatively based and is born within me. Therefore, I had a really difficult time delineating between what was my BEing state and my DOing state.
I am naturally a DOer and, therefore, I had to learn that for me to exist in a state of beingness, I needed to be doing something. However, learning to Be THROUGH Doing is very different from Doing TO Be. Now that I understand that about myself, I feel at ease and graceful with my life.
This process has helped me to see the value of having a private life and a public life. It has shown me how to bring to light the secret things to shed the shame and land them in sacredness. It has also helped me understand how to support others in this transformational process, as well. It has inspired me to begin to operate more selectively in public and it has also shown me where my private life is sacred.
I’m appreciating the reset of these practices and look forward to what will happen next.
