The cheese is gone. When I awoke yesterday morning, we discovered the nighttime mousy visitor successfully stole the cheese from two different contraptions and got away, apparently, without so much as a scratch. We replaced the cheese with peanut butter, thinking the stickiness of that treat would prolong his visit to the trap long enough to set it off. When we got home from a day-long event, the traps were untouched. When we awoke today, the peanut butter is still there, seemingly untouched.
Originally, when Mr. Mouse showed up, I had memories of my own violation, abuse and boundary-crossing throughout my life. As the days have rolled on, I’ve thought about it all, wondering what additional message Mr. Mouse has for me. A bandit, by definition is a person who takes unfair advantage of others; one who steals or defrauds. What bothers me the most is the fact that I have had to accommodate his presence. When the miniature pebbled traces of his existence first showed up, there had to be a reorganization of my belongings to avoid further possible violations of boundaries that I hadn’t previously realized needed to be set. WHY am I rearranging my life for him?
That pattern of experiencing the violation of boundaries I hadn’t realized needed setting is a familiar pattern. Most of my life, because I spent it outside of myself, trying to please others and be who I thought they wanted me to be, I had no idea what was going on inside of me. Now I realize that knowing what is going on inside of me is an integral part of setting boundaries.
The part I’m still curious about is… how do I set healthy boundaries for situations I am not expecting? It is easy to be prepared for everyday, normal experiences and to be clear on what is a “yes” and what is a “no” for my own life in those situations. However, when a “mouse” shows up to surprise me, at this point in my life, it is a practice of “forward and back” – I have to start defining the acceptable boundaries after the violation has occurred.
That sounds so not delicious to me and something that I am willing to change. I commit to being willing to learn how to be clear prior to the violation and I am aware that I have no idea how I can achieve that.
Now… holding space for the awareness about that to unfold.
