If I were able to master time-travel, would I do it all over again? Would I go back, make the same mistakes, the same choices? Would I do anything differently? Knowing what I know now, would I?
Some days I do want to go back… I want to go back and lay in his arms once again. I want to be held and cuddled and caressed and loved and be told that everything is going to be okay and believe that it will be and he will figure out how to make it so.
I somehow have tricked myself into believing that only back then is there comfort and love and caressing. Only back then is there someone who loves me, wants me, chooses me.
And then, I remember, in the end… he did not choose me… and, sometimes, I did not choose him…
And I am here. In this moment.
Quiet.
Alone.
And there is no one to hold me.
And there is only me to tell myself that it will be okay and that I will figure it out.
And then… then, I find myself wondering…
If I were to go back, would I do anything differently?
