…and here is what we discussed…
In the center of the room was a bistro table with two chairs. Upon the table top was a single candle. The flame swayed in a gentle breeze that seemed alive in the room and the light flickered in the unending reflections of mirrored walls, ceiling, floor. No other light was needed as the millions of tiny fireflights bounced warmth through the atmosphere and filled every corner with a surprising and unchallenged brilliance.
At the table sat two women so similar in appearance – the one difference hidden from all but those who chose to look intently – it was difficult to tell one from the other. Were they one in the same, just a reflection of one another? Perhaps.
The room was still as the two women sat motionless, studying the other, challenging her twin to speak first. From where you stand, observing the scene from the corner, you can see the back of one and the face of the other. Something holds you still there in the same stillness that holds the scene captive.
The face speaks: Who are you?
The back answers: Who are YOU?
Face: It seems a bit childish for you to respond to my question with the same question.
Back: Your point?
Face: My point is, I would like to know who you are.
Back: So?
Face: *rolling eyes* You are being difficult. Are you always like this?
Back: Difficult? Is that your story? You think I am being difficult?
Face: Well, you are being quite petulant and combative, which creates a difficult situation.
Back: Petulant? Big word. Do you use big words to impress me or to confuse me?
Face: Neither. Why are you being so difficult?
Back: Oh. We are back there, are we? Difficult?
Face: Yes. Difficult. Why?
Back: Just because I offer an answer which does not look like what you expected it to does not mean I am being difficult.
Face: *sighing* Whatever. What is your name?
Back: Angie.
Face: That is my name too.
Back: I know. The invitation I received said, “Angie is having herself over for dinner and Angie, you are invited,” so I know who you are already. I am curious why you didn’t know who I am.
Face: I didn’t think that your name would be Angie.
Back: Why not? I am myself. As are you. Is there something more important about you that you get to have the name?
Face: No. And, see. There you go again, being difficult.
Back: Why is it that when I give you something you do not like that it makes me the difficult one?
Face: Because you are being difficult. I wanted this to be pleasant, not some continual debate where I end up feeling exasperated.
Back: Oh. I see. You are the “pleasant” one. I also get that you are an either/or sort of gal so, if you are pleasant that would make me…
Face: UNpleasant.
Back: I was thinking more along the lines of free.
Face: *staring blankly* That makes no sense.
Back: Well, it seems you are spending a lot of energy trying to control something that you cannot control; like, making the situation “pleasant.” There are two of us in this experience and you only have control over one of those people. Yourself. So, spending energy focusing on having this time together as being “pleasant” seems like an absolute waste to me. AND I don’t have that concern so my energy is more free to actually be in the situation.
Face: *staring blankly*
There is a moment of silence. The two women regard one another closely. You watch as “Face” fidgets in her chair, uncomfortable with the silence and longing to say something, anything to fill the space. “Back” is strangley still, seemingly comfortable in her space.
Face: Why are we here?
Back: Why are we here?
Face: *rolling her eyes* Do you ever answer a question directly?
Back: Do you?
Face: *snapping* Yes. Always.
Back: Are you happy about that?
Face: Yes. No. I don’t know.
Back: Does it work for you?
Face: I don’t know.
Back: Do you like it, this answering of everyone’s questions?
Face: Well, that’s what you’re supposed to do. Someone asks a question, you answer it.
Back: You answer it.
Face: That’s what I said.
Back: No, you said, “You answer it.”
Face: Right. That’s what I said. You answer it.
Back: No, I don’t.
Face: What?
Back: I don’t answer it. You do.
Face: What?
Back: You answer everyone’s questions. I don’t.
Face: *staring wide-eyed and vacant with confusion* I don’t understand.
Back: Perhaps a better way for you to word it would have been, “I answer every question.” When you said it the way you did, you were making it about me.
Face: No, I wasn’t. I meant me.
Back: Then you speak like you mean you.
Face: *purposely turning her body away from the table* I know what I meant and you are just picking at me to avoid connecting with me and to be difficult.
The room is quiet again. “Back” waits patiently and you can see “Face” sitting ramrod straight, purposely holding herself still, although you can feel her anger and frustration bouncing all around the room. She holds onto herself so there is not even the slightest movement, but her energy tremors out of her erratically.
Face: Why are you so prickly and cold to be around?
Back: Am I prickly and cold?
Face: *growling quietly and slumping slightly* Yes. You really are. Why?
Back: Hmm. I am curious about that. I feel quite warm.
Face: *spinning to face the table and practically shouting* Are you being obtuse on purpose?
Back: Obtuse. Big word. What is this big word? What does it mean?
Face: *growling more obviously* It means retarded. Why are you being retarded?
Back: Retarded? That’s funny.
Slamming her fists on the table, “Face” sighs loudly and promptly jumps off her chair to pace the glass floor. It seems the room has suddenly become too small for her. “Back” waits patiently.
Face: Why are you so fat?
Back: Am I?
Face: Yes! You are! Hugely obese and FAT! Why?
Back: I would ask the same of you. Why are you fat?
Face: Because I can’t help it.
Back: Really? How did you come to that realization?
Face: I asked you why you are fat. I don’t want to talk about me I want to talk about you!
Back: Well, now, that isn’t very warm and friendly. How do we build a relationship if it’s all about me?
Face: Because, I want to get to know you. But you won’t answer any of my questions. How do I get to know you if you won’t answer any of my questions?
Back: How do I get to know you if you won’t talk about you? How do we build a relationship if all the questions are directed at me, for me to answer and you are just listening? How do I get to know you that way?
“Face” stops pacing and stares at “Back.”
Face: I don’t know.
Back: For someone who asks a lot of questions, you sure don’t know much.
In that moment, “Back” slides off her chair and turns to leave the room. It is then you notice the difference. She has no face.
