It’s weird when I leave my house under clear, blue skies and drive towards town, toward a darkened sky. As I neared town, the dark clouds seem to continue to blow westward, bringing their gloom over the lake and clearing the sky in the east to the glorious morning sun. And everywhere I look the ground is wet and glistening, puddles gather in the gutters and the air smells of rain. I know a wicked storm has this way come, but I missed it all together.
It’s weird to see, as I near town, police vehicles and officers at every turn. It’s weird to see brigades of army helicopters perusing the skies from east to west. It’s weird to think that The President of the US of A is here, practically within spitting distance of me and I won’t even be able to catch a glimpse of him. It’s weird to think how scary it must be to be him.
It’s weird to call a friend, one of my best friends, actually, after not talking with him for almost two months and having it be a disconnected talk that felt like pulling teeth. It’s weird, especially, because we have been friends for over six years and I have never had to pull teeth with him. It’s weird to think that we may be growing apart because I had never been able to imagine my life without him, until now.
It’s weird to know exactly what I want to do with my life, who I want to be and, yet, have no idea how go about either aspect.
It’s weird to want to be in an intimate realtionship and, at the same time, not want to be in a relationship.
It’s weird to work so closely with my former husband.
It’s weird to be training my replacement while, at the same time, to be freaking out that I am not going to be able to pay my bills when she takes over.
It’s weird to be able to put my hands on someone and know their truths before they do.
It’s weird to be in love with someone that is miles and years and lifetimes away. It’s weird to have him dance with me in my dreams and feel so close to him that when I wake, his warmth is still surrounding me.
It’s weird to have my truths blurted out before me by one of my mentors, “Angie, you are running the belief that you cannot do this without a man.” And to know that she has hit the nail so visibly on the head. Am I that transparent? No. She just knows me well and listens underneath my words. It’s weird to think that, after tomorrow, that pattern could be interrupted and reprogrammed. It’s weird to think that she may have found that one key I have been searching for.
It’s weird that I don’t have a pet so, Shin-Shiggy, this will have to do… the day in the life of my pet is weird. 🙂
