When we are present for our own experience, we are available to be aware of what is going on for other people.
Recently, I was working a 3-day event with one of my clients, which really means that, for about 7 days straight, I was going non-stop from 6am-midnight. This also means that I didn’t see my daughters during that time. On the second night of this event, I came in from the garage, tired and satisfied, utterly full and exhausted. That level of exhaustion is a delightful blend of body sensations, as long as I remain present for myself. If I do not, it usually devolves into a sluggishness that becomes impossible to move through.
That night, because I had shown up so powerfully for myself, the team, and our attendees, being present required me to consciously track my steps and movements. I was consciously talking to myself, coaching myself through the process of getting out of the car, gathering my stuff, and moving through the garage and into the house.
As I walked through the mudroom, stopping to hang up my purse, I heard from somewhere in our darkened house, an excited exclamation, “BOOP! BOOP!”
I grinned and said, “Which daughter am I hearing?”
“It’s me,” she exclaimed and I could hear the excitement and joy in her voice. “Zari!”
“Oh, hi, sweetie!” I said, stepping into the kitchen and turning on the light as she jumped off the last step and ran into the kitchen.
The joy emanating from her was palpable and filled the space.
“Guess what!” She was bouncing on her toes and giggling, doing a little side-to-side dance with her hands clasped up under her chin.
I felt so excited to hear what she was going to reveal and I felt myself, as tired as I was, rising to match her excitement. I felt a smile burst across my face and my eyes grow wide as I exclaimed, “What!”
“I just got home from an Alvvays concert!”
Alvvays is one of her favorite bands.
“Oh my gosh! How fun! Who did you go with?”
“Just! ME!“
I instantly understood the reason from her unbound joy. This is my daughter who is quiet and observant, rather willing to silently sit back and listen, watch, and not be seen. Until she’s comfortable. She is someone who, in the past, has only been able to survive in large crowds of strangers by having two people she trusts beside her at all times as an anchor so that her anxiety didn’t cause her to float off or faint.
She had gone alone!
“Oh! MY! GOSH! Sweetheart! That is HUGE!” I squealed and hugged her close, dancing excitedly with her in my arms.
“No one could go with me,” she said as we stepped back from each other, her eyes sparkling. “But I wanted to go so bad, I took myself! And then, I made a friend there!”
She went on to tell me all about her night and her new friend. She told me about how she showed up early so she was sure she was there on time. She told me how she had taken a book to read while she waited and then having a guy show up who grew into a friend. She was so bursting with joyfulness that it was contagious. She had conquered a huge fear by going there. All alone.
We spoke for a few minutes, even though both of us were experiencing exhaustion from spending so much time in joy. It was, my most favorite time from the entire day that had been filled with magnificence and magic, there in the kitchen, connecting and being with one another in our joy.
Before she ran back up the stairs, she said, “Thank you for being so excited with me! I knew I could tell you and you would get it!”
When we are present for our own experience, we are available to be aware of what is going on for other people. When we choose to be present for ourselves, it increases our capacity to connect with others, which in turn strengthens our relationships.
If you want to have deeper, long-lasting relationships with those you love, it starts with YOU. Truly. Being present for you is the key to creating the life and love you want to experience.
