What it is Like to be Lit Up

I have been asked, “Angie, can you tell me what lights you up and turns you on in your life?” I remember the first time I received a request like this so many years ago. At the time, I had no idea what it meant and had no clue as to the answer. I was living my life by default and it lacked passion and Purpose. Because of this, it was really difficult to answer a question about what excited me.

It was just shortly after that experience that I made the commitment to be fully alive and LIVE in my Love. That commitment changed me, transformed me in ways that I could have never imagined and, most assuredly, for which I was completely unprepared. Had I known going into it what I would be facing, the fears that would come up, the releasing I would be doing, the soul searching that would ensue, and the actual experiences all of that would come through, I probably wouldn’t have made the commitment. In this one instance, my ignorance was a great blessing because I unknowingly committed to something I would not have done had I been educated about what was ahead and, in the end, this transformation has been a huge gift, but one that has not been easy or pain-free.

Looking back over the journey I have trod, I see this beautiful, weaving, winding path that is speckled with glitter and glowing with brilliant colors. I have followed my own heart when it didn’t make sense to at times and the result has been miraculous. I see, in hindsight, how things go together and actually do make perfect sense, but it sure wasn’t clear at the time. And, it was scary to be continually making choices and moving in a direction that seemed to be utter lunacy.

I released my “security” and I released my “stuff.” I released my independence and seemingly backtracked to my father’s house and back to school. I did more schooling. What the heck?! More schooling? WHY, Angie??! WHY?! Everyone in my life kept saying, “Angie, you already have so much training and you’ve done nothing with any of it! Why the hell are you going back to college?”

Thing is… I didn’t know.

I didn’t know why, in the beginning, I was drawn to go to college, until I graduated and the elite clients started showing up – the clients who were ready to transform and to truly shine in their Purpose and have branding that matched that, branding that was magnetic, magical, and exponential in power, clients who were ready to face into the fire of transformation and burst forth in full glory with their message clear and vibrant. It is stunning to be witness to that greatness and I am so in love with that process, so lit up about being the conduit through which their vibrance comes to life.

I didn’t know in the beginning why I was being drawn back to college any more than I knew why I was drawn to go to massage school back in 2004 – which gave me a physical foundation and an understanding of the healing arts – and travel school nearly 30 years ago – which led me to an ability to organize travel itineraries with ease.

I didn’t know why I was drawn to learning about event planning – which has supported me in planning my events and being a support rung in the planning for other people’s events. It has also given me respect and reverence for any event I attend because I know what has gone on behind the scenes.

I didn’t know why I was interested in studying learning disabilities and behavioral disorders or for gaining training to become a teacher. All of this has given me a depth of understanding, especially with our Indigo Children, and an ability to speak to them in a way that they hear.

I didn’t know why I jumped on every opportunity to speak in church, to groups, to classes, even volunteering at times or asking to be the speaker – which got me familiar with standing in front of crowds and leading a discussion or an event so that, even at the last minute and without a presentation planned, I can hop up on stage and knock it out of the park.

I didn’t know why I enrolled in and graduated two years later from an institute for children’s literature – which gave me a great understanding about how to write for an audience, write for an editor, write for a publisher and to do that for myself, as well as supporting others in doing the same. It trained me to be a copywriter, an editor, a book designer. I gained the knowledge necessary to create a book and follow it through from concept to print. Every facet of that process is part of who I am now.

I didn’t know why I explored corporate problem solving or airline crisis training – which gave me the languaging for supporting others in crisis.

I didn’t know why I studiously followed the footsteps of my administrators and executives in my 20’s until, in my 30’s I found myself running the office of a multi-million dollar construction company all by myself. This has given me the knowledge and understanding of systems and the ability to set them up.

I went into all of these things not really knowing why I was doing what I was doing. But knowing, simply, that I had to. For some reason. Some divine reason. Something or someone was guiding me to become who I am today.

Looking back over the last 30 years of my journey and, specifically the last 15 years, I see now why my divine inspiration has led me on this incredibly wild and winding path of transformation time and again. I see now why I comfortably house the energy of The Phoenix and why I can support others in their transformation. I am The Phoenix and that is my passion. In everything I do, I hold the space for transformation and I love being witness to the magic that happens for those who are courageous enough to step into the Fire.

Now, when asked, “Angie, can you tell me what lights you up and turns you on in your life,” I answer: LIFE! Life is what lights me up and turns me on because life IS magical and one great big journey of transformation!

photo credit: Nina Matthews Photography via photopin cc

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The above post is my current Meditation of the Week. This *f*r*e*e* service provides uplifting articles, graphic design hints, Intrinsic Universe readings of the week, and special offers. If you’re interested in signing up for this service, you can do so through the “In-Box Inspiration” box to the right.

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