I sometimes wonder about humanity. They make very “interesting” choices when they are actually not present for their own experience.
Case in point…
Recently, I went out to run some errands. I came to an intersection at which I was going to turn right, tightly, into my own lane around the corner, after making sure it was safe to do so. A car, on the opposite side of the street, entered the intersection to turn left because there was a green arrow indicating they could turn at will.
There were three lanes, in addition to the lane I was turning into, for those drivers to aim for. For this story, you’re gonna need to ignore the fact that the law states drivers are supposed to turn tightly and enter the lane closest to them when doing a left turn.
Seeing that it was safe to go, I began to turn right. The man driving the car that was turning left was staring at me and wildly wagging his finger at me. Seriously. He was shaking his head and wagging his finger like an old school marm from Little House on the Prairie and I could hear him tsk-tsking in my head. I had no idea why he was behaving so absurdly because I was in my own lane, doing my own thing.
He, though, was paying no attention to where he was on the road. He was focused on me. Therefore, he was veering toward me.
A second later, I saw his intent as I turned the corner. He had avoided the proper, far-left lane that he should have turned into and turned all the way to the last available left lane directly beside mine, then he proceeded to swerve into my lane – sans signal indicating he was moving to the right – and promptly slammed on his brakes five feet in front of me so he could make a point and flip me off in his rearview mirror.
He then turned the corner and we both merged into the fast-moving traffic on the highway. I witnessed him cross all four lanes – sans signal indicating he was moving to the left – in about 3.2 seconds flat and then weave and bob between the lanes of traffic to Frogger-jump and get ahead, causing drivers around him to slam on their brakes and swerve out of his way.
His behavior was deplorable and an obvious indication of his state of mind. He was so focused on his own intents and purposes, he had no mind for the fact that he was breaking the law and endangering everyone around him.
Me? I laughed. For five minutes straight, I laughed, because he had told me so much about himself in that short interaction I had the privilege to have with him. He has no idea how telling his behaviors were because his focus was driving his choices.
He was intent on getting somewhere – fast! – and that was all. Perhaps there was an emergency he needed to attend to. Perhaps he was late for his job and it was his last chance before he was fired. Perhaps he was just a jerk.
I don’t know. But I do know that, in that moment, all that was important to him was his right to get to where he was going in the way that he wanted to get there.
When we choose to get singularly focused on our own path, we can lose sight of the effect we are having on others. We can behave dangerously or rudely without even realizing that we are. We can cause accidents. We can break things. We can hurt people. Our singular focus can destroy relationships, bankrupt businesses, and deconstruct dreams.
With over 7.53 billion people (in 2017, according to Google) on this big rock, it is imperative that we begin to pay attention to the effect we are having on humanity through our focus, choices, and behaviors, and become proficient in being present to ourselves and life all around us.
The art of living a focused life while paying attention to the ripples you are sending out is something worth mastering it. When you do that, you become a contribution, rather than a drain.
